I need advice from women who have dealt with a cheating man?

My fiance cheated on me and told me everything, however even though I can't trust him now I want to work things out the problem is I have no idea how to do that. I am very confused and my emotions are getting the best of me. I haven't slept in days. How did you deal with this? How do we fix this? We are both young and can't afford nor do I want counseling.I need advice from women who have dealt with a cheating man?
first off you can't be with someone you can't trust!


as for me i stayed with my boyfriend that cheated, and didn't judge him at all!!! but when i cheated he couldn't wait to say, it was over!!!


So I would say to try and work it out, but don't let the tables turn on you!


The best counseling is talking among one another, honestly, and considerably!I need advice from women who have dealt with a cheating man?
My dear, you don't need counseling for this. Sure you are feeling devastated because once you thought that your beloved would never ever cheat on you. Same here, I thought the same, and my story was worse. I figured it all out by myself, he didn't even confront me. And even when I figured it out, he yet tried to deny it though the proofs were all there.


However, I must tell you, there nothing you can except that you need time to let it heal. You have to keep an eye on him so that he would never cheat again. And if he promised you this, then that's good. But you better keep observing him and his acts.


Let go of it, 'til it heals. You need time to let the trust build all over again. Don't always believe it when someone says, once a cheater, he'll always be one. It depends from one guy to another.





Bottom line, talk to him, tell him how you feel. Tell him you want to work things out and that you need time because there is no excuse for a man to cheat if they are already with someone. Not to mention, this is a serious relationship obviously, because you are already engaged.





I wish you the best of luck
Hey I really feel your pain, that is just about the worst emotional pain you can go through. I've been there, more than once.





Unfortunately I can not offer any positive advice regarding how to trust or work it out with him. My experiences ended well in the sense that I am now with a man I love dearly, we are expecting our first, and I've never been happier or trusted anymore more. But he is not the man that cheated on me.





The first man that cheated was my fiance. He had been previously married then separated before I met him. We had a whirlwind romance and got engaged way too fast. Things unraveled quickly and I learned that the girl he said was his best ';friend'; he was actually in love with and carrying on much more than a ';friendship'; with her and trying to get her to leave HER fiance for him, despite being with me. Needless to say we didn't marry and it ended.





I moved on and several years later I got involved with someone else. For most of our relationship I had no idea he was cheating on me, often. I was suspicious of things here and there, but he played mind games with me and called me overly jealous (which I am not) and always made it seem like it was me, not him. Finally the truth came out and it was ugly. Very ugly. Very painful. I could not bring myself to look at him, let alone trust or be intimate again. I left him.





It took about 6 months but I got over it. I could never find it inside myself to open my heart or myself to a man that could violate me so awfully. Love and relationships that are built on mutual respect and love seem much more healthy to me. Even the best relationships with total honesty and openness are a ton of work and require a lot of effort on both parts.





Once trust is violated everything gets tainted. Maybe there are people who can work through it. Maybe there are relationships that are worth going through the hell of that to stay together. Maybe if you were married for a long time already, have children, or some kind of thing where its worth every ounce of effort inside yourself to stay, then I guess it can be done, and maybe it should be, I don't really know.





Personally, there was no way I could ever do it. I was so disgusted by him that I cringed just at the thought of him. And the few times we did speak face to face after that, when he reached out for me I yanked away and could not even be touched in a non-sexual way. I can say that this is no way to make it work.





Yes I was still deeply in love at the time. It hurt like razors and barbed wire being wrapped around my heart and pulled in all directions. It was nightmarish hell. But for my own sanity and peace of mind, I had to move on. I could not find it in my heart to get that close to him after he had violated my trust and been that intimate with someone else. It was especially hurtful because I had been faithful and cherished what we shared.





I am sorry that I can not offer more help. Maybe others had better experience getting over it and staying together. Your question really hit home for me.





Now I am reunited with my high school sweetheart who I have known and loved since I was 16! He is the most darling man ever and I never, EVER worry about who he's with or if he is faithful. I could not live a life where every day there is that doubt and the painful sting of knowing that my ';man'; was naked with another woman and gave her all the intimacy that should have stayed between only us.





I found a love that for all his libido, which is wonderful and intense, he knows how to keep it at home, with me, where it belongs.





Best of luck to you. I hope you find the best thing in your life, no matter what that is.
Honestly dear one I dealt with it by leaving. Cheating is not in my category. I can forgive many thing, but cheating is not on the list. When someone loves you with all their heart and soul, they WON'T cheat. And they don't.


If you are having that much troubling dealing with it, consider separating (at least 2 months) and see if can help yourself.


It sucks when someone you love hurts you that deeply. Good luck
Some things can't be fixed, sounds like you are both too young..





If you stay with him, you will always resent him, this will push him away more and cause more cheating...





If you stay with him PLEASE don't have kids, its one thing to mess up your life, but sad to destroy a child.





Do yourself a favor and move on...
Need more info. First you have to look at what really did happen. The why';s The how come. Some time it is the woman's fault as bad as the mans. Maybe you two are not ready to married. You have to forgive your self first. You might be blaming your self. Can you two talk about ever thing and any thing with out getting mad. If you can not do this you need find to some different. Talking to each other is the most important thing to be able to do.
after two years i finally left him because i learned that when you cant trust someone it ruins everything. It will always be in the back of your head no matter what...you guys arent married...I would move on now.
Before I was married I would not tolerate any cheating. If anyone I was dating cheated that was the end. It shows you have no respect for the relationship or the persons feelings. You care more about stroking your ego or getting laid than the other person. Very easy to walk away. Very very easy. I would never pledge my love to be married to someone that did that to me. You are young. No need to settle for someone that doesn't deserve you. It is best to move on and find someone who cares about your heart and has morals and ethics. This is your partner for life. Pick a good one. If he cheated now he will do it again. Shows he is very immature and doesn't know how to communicate with you. I would hope that my husband would communicate his frustrations with me before sleeping with another person. Just mutual respect.
You do not deal with the cheating of a 'fiance'. If you were married I'd say go to counseling but not in your case. He's broken something between you 2 that can not be fixed unless you have a long history of trust, love and forgiveness. If you marry this man your marriage will be built on shaky foundation, it will not stand time.





People that succeed getting behind cheating are people that have been married for many years, they have children, they have something to be salvaged. You do not.
In my case my ex husband kept telling me he wasn't cheating anymore, but he was, and with several women. I really didn't like it, and it ruined our marriage. He got angry that I was not happy about the way he was treating me, and he ended up physically hurting me. We are divorced.
This is the strangest answer you will get. Find a good swingers club, one that has an orientation session, and go and ask questions. You don't have to go to a party, just find out how these people deal with the situation you seem to have found yourself in. Good luck.
U cant change a person. If he doesnt act like he wants to fix things then move on, your not even married yet and he is already cheating on you! talk to him and follow your heart. do not give him another chance! dont get even either. what goes around comes around, so if u was to get him back he would cheat again. its a non stop cycle lol. counseling does not always work so screw that. just talk to him about it. if he really loves u he should not have done that
If you were already married my advice might be very different but you haven't even walked down the aisle and he's cheated?! This is a red flag and it's time to end the relationship! You might love him and want to work it out but honestly what message will you send him if you still marry him after he's betrayed you like this?