I need some advice from the women. What is your read of this situation?

I need help from the adult ladies out there, it would be greatly appreciated. I need to know how to read this situation so I don’t make an a** of myself tomorrow (I’m 30, and this girl is 34, neither of us have ever been married). I went out with this girl twice, the last time was a year and a half ago. The first time we went out things went ok and we made plans to go out again. Then one of her longtime friends got in the way and they began seeing each other. She lives one hour away from me so it would have been a long distance relationship. She broke up with him a few months later. We went out again shortly thereafter. I went to see her. At the end of the date, she said that she would have to come down to see me next time. she had indicated previously that the distance turns her off because she has to drive 45 minutes everyday to work and that was what was precluding her from starting a relationship with me.. It’s really complicated, but like an idiot I never asked her down because I kept coming back to the “she doesn’t like the distance thing so she isn’t really interested”. I didn’t want to have to deal with the rejection because she is an awesome girl and I could have seen myself falling hard for her and then end up hurt. If I missed my chance with her I’ll never forgive myself. Here’s the thing. We’ve kept in touch consistently for the last year and a half and email nearly daily (sometimes to the point of excessive since we are both at work!). Sometimes about absolutely nothing at all, but other times about life and what’s happening in each of our lives. Over this time I’ve begun to realize that I have some serious feelings for her, like she might be THE ONE. Back in January I realized this and I asked her out to lunch but she said that she had started seeing someone and “didn’t think it would be fair for all of us involved” to get together. So we went on like usual. I casually mentioned to her about a month ago that I had started seeing somebody (I’m not anymore but she doesn’t know that), and she immediately responded by suggesting that we needed to get together sometime. She is planning on coming down to my town to do some shopping and wanted to get together with me afterwards. Today, she mentioned that she’d like to switch up the schedule though, that she wants to see me first then do the shopping later. Can you give me your interpretation of the situation? Am I in the dreaded “friend zone” or is there a chance she is waiting to see my reaction and if I still have interest? I need the female perspective. Thanks in advance for your help, I am an absolutely pathetic mess.I need some advice from the women. What is your read of this situation?
You are in the ';Friend Zone'; and you need to move on and go with a girl that will like you back just move on from her already HUGSI need some advice from the women. What is your read of this situation?
You sound very sweet.


I think maybe she's worried about getting involved with you precisely because of the distance issue. Women always think 100 steps ahead, and she may have already dismissed the possiblity of the relationship because if it got serious, one of you would more than likely have to move to be near the other. But then again, if you show her just how much she means to you when you next see her - who knows? Take the risk - what are you going to regret more in 20 years time?
She's insincere and you should remember her actions leading up to this point. She's not ';THE ONE'; so you can forgive yourself for finding a girl who is actually interested in you. She's been dating other men for years and you're acting like a pathetic mess. Cancel. Tell her that your girlfriend already made plans with you and ';didn't think it would be fair to all of us involved.';


Sorry, but have some self-respect!
I feel that if you think you might have serious feelings for her, you should go for it, and not be worried about being rejected! If she's worth pursuing, then she's worth taking the risk of getting hurt over! If she's made overtures about seeing you, then see her! There's not enough love in this world, and to turn away from someone who might be ';The One'; for you could be the biggest mistake in your life! Time will tell whether this relationship can work, whether it can last a lifetime. Take lots of time, spend the time on the road, on e-mail (gack!) but e-mail too easily masks real feelings, on the phone. If it's real, you guys can figure out how to overcome the distance thing. Spend the time, get well past the 'new love/lust' thing, have lots of normal times together, share your dreams, your worries, your fears, and your friends and families.


Good luck on your quest for what we all want, someone who will cherish and treasure us, who will be there through the good times and bad times, who really 'gets' us and loves us anyway! Put your heart out there - the risk is worth it!
my impression here is that she wants her cake and eat it too. Seems like she is keeping you around for rainy days. down time with men. Guilty of not letting a guy go you know is soo into you, but you just can't shake him. It sounds bad, but it is innocent. I'm sure she has feeling for you, but they don't seem strong enough to even think of having a future with this one. shock her world and find yourself a woman that wants to spend time with you........
When a woman falls, she falls no matter what the distance. Same with a man. Men have been known to leave kingdoms for a woman and woman have been known to leave everything too for love. Maybe you can meet in the middle until you BOTH decide if its real or not.
Its hard to tell but the thing that stuck with me was her wanting to see you first then go shopping. Not a good sign. I would say you need to see how she acts when she comes down then come back to YA and let us know.
well if she is not willing to travel dont fall for her off and on. i am a women in a long distance relationship because i love him. wait until she gets into you..........
sounds like you are zoned. sorry
ok i know everyones says this but its true .. take risks or else youll never know. think about it this way .. if you ask her out or whatever and she says no, then you will problly be disapointed for a while, but atlest youll know and you can continue being friends, but if you never ask her then itll be an ongoing disapointment thatll be with you for a looong time. but anyway it sounds like she feels the same way about u, but like you .. is also somewhat unsure about it.


goodluck with everything tho!