What advice would you give to a catholic women who believes she has sinned because she divorced her husband?

Her husband systematically abused her for two years.What advice would you give to a catholic women who believes she has sinned because she divorced her husband?
Divorce is not a sin. Remarriage without having received an annulment is a sin.





Whether or not she has grounds for an annulment I can't say because that depends on whether the husband ever intended to enter a valid sacramental marriage. She would have to discuss this with a priest.





If she does not get remarried she has not committed a sin and is welcome to participate fully in Church including receiving the Eucharist.What advice would you give to a catholic women who believes she has sinned because she divorced her husband?
%26lt;%26lt;What advice would you give to a catholic women who believes she has sinned because she divorced her husband?%26gt;%26gt;





I would say, find out for sure whether or not she really has sinned. It's entirely possible a sin has not been committed and that there is nothing to worry about. However, it's also possible she has, and wouldn't she like to know for sure, for peace of mind, if for no other reason?





Let's assume the marriage is valid. A valid marital bond CANNOT be undone. Legally, and for practical reasons, a legal divorce is necessary - but a legal divorce has no bearing on the marital bond.








%26lt;%26lt;Her husband systematically abused her for two years.%26gt;%26gt;





It's not wrong for a married couple to be separated - especially in situations where one spouse is abusing another. However, merely being separated doesn't mean the marital bond is dissolved. Neither spouse can engage in courtship, lest they committ adultery.





What you really need to do is speak directly with a priest - and tell him EVERYTHING. The more you are willing to disclose to the priest, the more relevant his help and advice will be.
None until I talked with her and found out more.





While there are women who are abused by their husbands, there are just as many men who are abused by their wives.





A higher percentage of women abuse their own children than men.





75% of the time when a woman claims abuse, its done just to gain an advantage in a divorce she wants for other reasons.





Which is why I'd want to talk to her first.





I'd also want to talk to her ex and their children.





I know a lady who divorced her husband claiming he was abusive, yet the children said, ';We want to live with Dad!';





The court agreed and awarded the Dad sole custody of the children.





14 years after this lady went to court the first of many times complaining about her abusive husband, one of their children got married.





Dad was at the wedding, but the Mom was not.





So do you see why I would want to talk to her first?
This is tricky, because we are told that what God has bound cannot be broken, but the husband had obviously not taken his own vows seriously when he gave them to your friend.





My advice? Tell her to talk to her parish priest. There are also groups for those who are suffering through divorce that she could join and work with. The priest is not going to condemn her, but he can certainly give her spiritual advice and tell her the Church's teachings and the Bible's teachings about divorce and, more importantly, her situation.





Here's a few sites:





http://www.divorceinfo.com/catholic.htm


http://insidecatholic.com/Joomla/index.p鈥?/a>





This one is very helpful:


http://www.divorcedcatholic.com/





This is from the same site as above, just their answers page, which I think will really help her:





http://www.divorcedcatholic.com/divorced鈥?/a>
I would just tell her, that probably isnt the place she needs to be. If the church is going to reject her and in the long run 'turn her away' from God, that's not right.


My mother went thru a divorce and she doesnt like going to her (catholic) church anymore because she feels like the shun her. I just dont agree with the catholic church at all.


ugh, it makes me mad.
That's a tough situation. Especially with abuse involved. :/





I mean, truthfully, the only time divorce is NOT a sin is in the case of infidelity. (This is in the Bible. Sorry.)





But we all sin. Every day. That doesn't make it any better... but it should reassure her that life goes on, and Jesus offers hope for forgiveness.





Though I'm not Catholic, I am a Christian, and this is how I believe it works: Sin or not, God still loves her, still cares for her, and still hurts when she hurts. She needs to just ask Him for forgiveness, and move on the best that she can, trying not to sin again. That's the same way you'd treat any sin, really.





She must be going through a lot of pain right now, and guilt over sin just makes it all feel even worse. :(
You tell her that she did the right thing!!! She sure can go to her parish priest too, and he will tell her the same thing.





No woman is to be ';married'; to someone abusing her, that is no marriage, anyway. That is some kind of wacko bondage.





God is not for that.
If she believes she sinned, she should go to confession. The priest will assure her that she has not sinned by protecting herself (and her kids). She probably wouldn't believe anybody else.
She needs to keep on living. Many Christians are divorced because it takes 2 to make a marriage.
I'd tell her that even if she sinned, everyone sins, and Jesus blood cleanses those sins so don't sweat it any longer.
Don't even talk about religion, that is doing good for her already!
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